HURRICANE -edit

HURRICANE

The air is heavy silent grey
no egrets statues
In the lake
today
the smell of alligators
rot and decay
float slowly towards
the eastern shore
from stagnant waters
of the Everglades
once more.

Nature stands stunned
In fearful anticipation
There is a monster in the sea
and it is coming
this way
to feed and prey.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: USA

Comments

weirdelf

12 years 10 months ago

To my mind

overly anthropomorphic. It's just weather.
But nice imagery

Geremia

12 years 10 months ago

lol You always hit it right.

lol You always hit it right. We are expecting hurricane to possibly hit south Florida That inspired theme. :)

scribbler

12 years 10 months ago

I have on many an occasion seen the way an approacing storm affects the way wildlife behaves. First there's a spurt of intense feeding then they hunker down and harly even move until the storm passes. You captured this well in a minimum of words. Hmmm..... maybe "no egret statues" instead of egrets standing statue? Just something you can mull over..............stan

Geremia

12 years 10 months ago

Good change, Yes, the

Good change, Yes, the Everglades get wild.

Ian.T

12 years 10 months ago

Joe

I liked this piece down to the last line then the "to feed and prey"
that the storm will feed off of the Ocean and pick at it increasing its energy.
I think more likely the alligator will feed on easy prey today, just a thought for you to mull over.
Glad to see your work becoming fruitful, Yours Ian.T

Geremia

12 years 10 months ago

thanks, Ian. Winds r

thanks, Ian. Winds r starting ro spin;;;

weirdelf

12 years 10 months ago

Excuse my expletives, but fucking good!

You are a major poet when you choose subjects that reflect nature, beauty and life.

Geremia

12 years 10 months ago

I am beginning to think u r

I am beginning to think u r right