alidzain

Jun 04, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I Am Me

Have I become a puppet to the people I loved,
bowing to their nays and ayes
seeking their approval each time I have served
in every role I have played?

Let this not be true! A man without identity
is a slave to other's perceptions
in all his actions, there is no sincerity
seeking for approval, fearing rejections

I'm reclaiming my rights to be heard
the muted voice has awakened
no longer will it revel in silence
it is their turn to sit back and listen

For though I love them dearly
my life is not theirs to dictate
I can only offer the best of me
when I am free to contemplate

In the end I can only be me
because I am born to be me

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

scribbler

11 years 1 month ago

howdy

I see no reason to alter the title. About the only semi obvious "flaw" I see is the close repetition of "silence "in stanza 3. Easily cured by using a synonym in one of the lines ...something like "The mute voice has awakened". Good writing.......stan

alidzain

11 years 1 month ago

Stan

Thanks for the visit and the feedback. Much appreciated.

Alid

loved

11 years 1 month ago

certainly....

u can be u only
never me

so be happy
be urself
and
let others gloss over
me and thee

continue to compose
delicious poetry

if Stan has found time to comment
there should be a coz for
celebrating such an event

he rarely reads mine
poor winner me!
I'm still fine
three and 1/2 years
I have struggled
you have just nuggled

alidzain

11 years 1 month ago

seriously loved

i have read your works and i know you are one of the masters. Its amateurs like me who needs his guidance and encouragement. you , sir are already good and you know that is true.

Alid

Lonnie

11 years 1 month ago

Nice theme!

Would that we all could truly be ourselves all of the time, without having to live for the amusement of others! Well-worded and very appropriate!

alidzain

11 years 1 month ago

Thanks, Lonnie

Actually I wrote this piece after I have an argument with my sis who wants me to quit writing poems. I know she means well but I just need to stand up for myself or I might regret one day..

Alid

Ian.T

11 years 1 month ago

Alid

A good theme, you have the bones of how to do things now let me see you live and at the same time carry on doing the things you have been doing it just takes a little planning lol.
Good luck with where to put everything, but you must come first or who would do anything if you were to become ill or not be there, let them know..
Yours Ian.T

alidzain

11 years 1 month ago

My dear Ian

I'm glad you like it. I've been telling them that but sometimes they refuse to listen and that irritates me a lot, Just because I'm the youngest in the family, they think they have the right to interfere with my life, forgetting that I do have my own perceptions on things. Anyway this is nothing new. I just wish they give me a chance to lead my life my way. I have this thinking of laying it all out on the table and tell them whether you are proud of me or not I know I've tried to be a good man so there, think what you will, I don't care. lol

Alid

Seren

11 years 1 month ago

Dear Alid

This is really one of your best poems, it feels like I know something about YOU...this feels autobiographical I cant see anything wrong with it, I think you maybe finding your voice the soul of a poet is rising ;)

nice work hun

love and hugs Jayne x

alidzain

11 years 1 month ago

Hi Jayne

those words coming from you make me smile. I feel appreciated and honored. In truth I still have a long way to go, hun but thanks anyway.

love and hugs
Alid