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Jan 12, 2026
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I feel fearful and scared...
(mostly a poetic fiction -
within a real household
where yours truly reared
with good and plenty opportunities
to be a kid videlicet reared
within an environment
for the socially and mentally impaired)
which for better or worse
gently discouraged
taking bold positive
growth development risks,
hence existence of mine
admirably, effectively, and inadvertently
tethered to an invisible orbit
around safe and secure
zone of familiarity
and even as a little boy
made excuses not to deploy
ventures antithetical
no matter I discovered myself
in a similar predicament
living in dire straits
as an introverted lad
analogous to Little Lord Fauntleroy
(an 1886 children's novel
by Frances Hodgson Burnett
about a kind, poor American boy,
Cedric Errol, who discovers
he is the heir to a British earldom
and must move to England
to live with his crotchety,
wealthy grandfather,
the Earl of Dorincourt,
whose heart he eventually melts
with his innocence and goodness)
and felt like linkedin
to asserting self
as a shy lad missing
out on superficiality
(and Powder Milk Biscuits)
being part of the hoi polloi
only experiencing joy
living vicariously
while digging figuratively deeper
into a hole of introvertedness
courtesy employing
a custom made figurative loy
(an Irish term for a distinctive,
narrow spade with a single footrest,
used for digging in stony ground,
derived from the Irish word for spade,
láí; however, "Loy" can also refer
to a personal name or, in Thai (ลอย),
means "to float,"
as in the festival Loy Krathong)
salivating when as a kid watching
(with Frank Augustine Junior)
both of us both an avid Star Trek fan
imagining myself as Spock
also known as Leonard Nimoy,
especially when hitched as a ploughboy
forced into harsh physical labor
courtesy a harsh taskmaster,
(who treated me like a slave)
unlike both my loving parents
whose untimely death
left myself and two sisters orphaned
but they lucked out
adopted by a rich uncle Sam
and set to live a comfortably numb
(think the life of Riley -
a luxurious or carefree existence)
while their one and only brother
found himself tethered
like an indentured servant
(a person, often an immigrant,
who got coerced, and forced
against my will and ignorance
to sign a labor contract
(an "indenture")
to work for a master
for a fixed term,
usually four to seven years,
dressed as a little girl -
pitch perfect for my
diminutive, and lithesome physique
and long wavy hair
in exchange for passage
to a new country
(like colonial America)
and necessities like food,
clothing, and shelter
analogous to be
mother's little helper
but always wanted to be a lion tamer
on par with Siegfried and Roy,
especially after watching
The Monty Python skit
featuring a man
wanting to be a lion tamer
episode called
"Vocational Guidance Counsellor,"
from their "Flying Circus" series,
where an accountant
(played by Michael Palin)
mistakenly thinks
he wants to tame lions,
but actually wants
a more exciting
career than accountancy,
confusing lions with anteaters,
as found in this Monty Python
Wiki entry and LinkedIn post.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: no doubt thee dear reader breathes a sigh of relief in comparison to the previous, where a curiosity arose how many random shuffling of lines could eventually result withal a logic from start to finish.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem presents a complex, sprawling narrative that interweaves personal history, literary allusion, cultural references, and introspective reflection. The ambition to capture a multifaceted emotional and psychological landscape is evident, but the poem’s density and structural choices create challenges for reader engagement and clarity.
The poem’s form is largely prose-like, with minimal line breaks and punctuation that mimic conversational or stream-of-consciousness patterns. While this can evoke an intimate, confessional tone, here it often results in a sense of breathlessness and difficulty in parsing the poem’s shifts in focus. Consider introducing more deliberate line breaks and stanza divisions to provide rhythmic variation and to highlight key images or thematic turns. This would help the reader navigate the poem’s many layers and moments of insight.
The poem’s voice is candid and self-aware, yet the frequent parenthetical asides and explanatory notes—such as definitions of “loy” or summaries of “Little Lord Fauntleroy”—interrupt the flow and can feel didactic. While these elements add texture and context, they might be more effective if integrated more subtly into the poem’s language or reserved for a separate note, allowing the poem itself to evoke meaning through imagery and metaphor rather than exposition.
Thematically, the poem explores feelings of fear, introversion, and constrained identity, juxtaposed with cultural touchstones like Star Trek and Monty Python that symbolize escapism and aspiration. This contrast is compelling, but the poem’s narrative sometimes becomes tangled in its own complexity, making it hard to discern the emotional core. Focusing more tightly on a few central images or moments—such as the “custom made figurative loy” or the experience of being “dressed as a little girl”—could sharpen the emotional impact and thematic coherence.
The poem’s language is rich with allusion and specificity, but at times the vocabulary choices (e.g., “videlicet,” “hoi polloi,” “indentured servant”) create a distancing effect rather than intimacy. Balancing erudition with accessible, evocative language might enhance the reader’s emotional connection.
In summary, this poem contains fertile ground for exploring identity, vulnerability, and resilience. Refining its structure, clarifying its narrative focus, and modulating its explanatory elements could strengthen its voice and resonance.
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