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Jun 07, 2025
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I got
I got to have a shoulder to rest My head when I am tired I got to grieve The loss of my sister That past away I got to say thanks To my friends for Supporting me all through the Years I got to cry some tines alone I go to understand That heaven waits for us And that there is a Place for us in heaven I got to help those in need Now They helped me before I got to understand that God Will answer my prayers When I pray to him I got to have some sunshine Warming my skin I like to feel the heat on my skin It is Summer anyway
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by AIdo Kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 weeks 4 days ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem presents a series of personal affirmations and reflections on loss, gratitude, faith, and the comforts of daily life. The repetition of "I got to" at the beginning of many lines creates a refrain that suggests both obligation and privilege, though the phrase is colloquial and may not fully capture the emotional depth intended. Consider whether "I got to" best serves the poem's tone, or if alternatives such as "I need to," "I must," or "I am grateful to" might offer more nuance or precision.
The poem moves between themes—mourning a sister, appreciating friends, contemplating faith, and enjoying summer warmth—without strong transitions. This gives the poem a stream-of-consciousness feel, but it also risks making the piece feel unfocused. Consider whether the poem would benefit from grouping related ideas together, or from using imagery or metaphor to connect the different experiences.
There are several places where the language could be clarified or refined. For example, "That past away" should be "who passed away," and "cry some tines alone" appears to be a typographical error for "cry sometimes alone." Attention to these details would strengthen the poem’s impact.
The poem touches on faith and gratitude, but these themes are stated directly rather than shown through imagery or specific detail. Incorporating sensory details or concrete examples—for instance, describing a particular moment of support from friends, or a memory of the sister—could make the poem more vivid and emotionally resonant.
The closing lines introduce the physical sensation of warmth and the mention of summer, which could serve as a metaphor for comfort or renewal. Expanding on this image, or linking it more explicitly to the earlier themes, could help unify the poem.
Overall, the poem expresses important emotional truths, but would benefit from greater attention to language, structure, and imagery to deepen its impact.
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