Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Mar 31, 2022
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
I Had To Crawl (by eddy styx)
I Had To Crawl
at the back of her shed
behind her house
leaning on a post,
I stopped to rest.
'twas then I realized
this would be a test
of sturdy endurance.
I spied a man
with a shotgun
behind a tree,
funny thing is
he, too, spied me.
he raised his gun
set his sights on me,
I was turning to run
as he fired that thing
and I took a fat load of
buckshot above my knee.
I went down like a ton of bricks.
keeping my head, I scrambled
I had to crawl through mud
moving as fast as I could go
to get out of his reach
I conceded this place was his!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: poem by: eddy styx
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 3 months ago
Poor eddy...
seems that he is getting old! Is he picking on old married women now? Must be that his age is getting the best of him. LoL
This startled me! The truth is that we all get older and start picking our victims as opportunities present, rather than making opportunities. Old eddy should be more careful; a warning to him, the next time, the guy may aim just a little bit higher and take off a vital part!
Good write! ~ Geez.
.
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
dear Geez,
I was kind of depressed when I wrote this. it has been that kind of a day...
thanks for reading and commenting.
ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat
Ray Whitaker
3 years 3 months ago
Buckshot to the knee.
Rough injury that would be…. I cannot turn off my medical mind with that one.
I’d have given up the place too!
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
hello Ray,
I know, kind of rough, huh? puts eddy in stitches and a cane for awhile and knocks him out of commission for awhile. luckily most of the shot went above the knee.
ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat
One
3 years 3 months ago
Knowing...
...Eddy, this place was that man's today...but tomorrow it may Eddy's!
Eddy doesn't forget, forgive or rest until revenge is complete.
Regards
One
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
dear One,
you know eddy well...
he is plotting his revenge even as I write this!
ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat
RoseBlack
3 years 3 months ago
Poor Eddy
I think I would've given up as well after a buckshot to the knee. Well written, excellent visualization. I had a clear image of Eddy watching the other man and crawling away after being shot in the knee.
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
dear Rose,
thank you very much for reading my poem and commenting on it.the mud was good for my complexion after I did a face-plant, lol.
ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat
lovedly
3 years 3 months ago
heavens may bless
may he live long be strong dare not try to prove you wrong bang on HELLO EDDY IS IT YOU
GEMINI OR another Pisces
or Virgo then go try be a Saggy
Cats will admire thee
lol all four
but i by 1
Candlewitch
3 years 3 months ago
and may it bless you...
thank you lovedly, for reading and your nice comment.
ever, eddy