Neopoem Of The Week Contest November 6th to November 12th 2022

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I pray that god will like my world

It’s you if you would see yourself,

on the days when the sun sets early

Its you if love was easier to eat

and food, to pass

I’d say it's you if I had the words

or could transcribe the notes

If you could click your heels

to sow your wild oats

Its you if you prayed to god

trusting he will like your world

About This Poem

Last Few Words: the praying to god part isn't literal I am not religious

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: charles bokowski, sylvia plath , savannah brown, allen ginsberg

Comments

Lavender

2 years 7 months ago

I pray that god will like my world

Hi, Leo,
These are gentle words of affirmation. I'm not certain if the poet is speaking to self or someone else, but the feeling is strong and encouraging. If poems could receive hugs instead of comments, I'd give a hug to this one.
Thank you,
Lavender

leoferaco

2 years 7 months ago

Hi Lavender,

I really appreciate your reply, totally understand the feeling of wanting to hug art, I sometimes get that with books I read. Glad I could evoke the same feeling for you !

Geezer

2 years 7 months ago

I think that...

it's someone you would like to have in your world and wanting God to like it for you. Maybe...
~ Geezer.
.

leoferaco

2 years 7 months ago

the use of "God"

I mainly used "God" as a tool to express the futility in asking a higher power to "change the world." So the lines, "Its you if you prayed to god/trusting he will like your world" mean the "you" in this case, would pray asking god to "fix" the world to match their vision of a "better" world, trusting this higher power would agree with this vision. This draft is a very trimmed down version of the initial write so I could see how that might've gotten lost in my many, many edits of it haha. Of course poetry can be interpreted in many different ways and I always appreciate hearing what you think! thank you

-Leo