alidzain

Sep 21, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I Spied A Little Fly

I spied
a little fly
buzzing away noisily,
irritating me
as it flew
around my honeydew,
waiting to share my food,
trying to claim its loot

A moment later,
it doesn't matter
for its life ended
just like I intended
when I folded the newspaper
to be its killer.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

lovedly

10 years 9 months ago

you have murderous tendences do you

you have murderous tendencies do you

you killed a fly where...as you could have shared ...she could have been served... on the news paper with which you killed her
sections 12345 will be held against you ...where ever are you... only one call is due to you..... call your legal advisor....
if all humans kill flies they how will we all fly ... no lies flies have big eyes... they can be used as spies ...friend take care
you killed a fly ...but the judge will exonerate you...as you spoke the truth...
there's no hole in your truth

alidzain

10 years 9 months ago

lol

thanks for the visit and comments.Good one.

Alid

lovedly

10 years 9 months ago

and thank u

for the inspirational poem
do read and comment
UR
NEOPOETS LEADING POET
DON'T THAT FORGET

alidzain

10 years 9 months ago

Need a favour

remind me if you see any good poem which I have missed out 'cos I can be a klutz sometime.

Alid

lovedly

10 years 9 months ago

ooooooooooooooo

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Ian.T

10 years 9 months ago

Alid

I have warned Digit that you are lethal with a newspaper, no need to become violent, they don't cook very well.
Saying that there is a lake in Africa where they capture thousands and make burgers with them.
I shall stick with Long Pig it is much easier to kill and cook lol.
A fun write there Alid and well formed,
Yours J Sparrow

alidzain

10 years 9 months ago

arrgh

burgers you say? blech! Maybe some information are not to be shared. Let's hope I forget it when I'm craving for a burger. yuck! uwekk!

Alid

Ian.T

10 years 9 months ago

Alid

Just check, I don't think they export the things LOL
Lake Victoria ??
Have a great day out there its 00-10 am here.
Keep a watch for digit he's on the move LOL
Yours J Sparrow