I THIMK THEREFORE.........(thimk is intentional typo)

Sitting on my big ol' butt
pen in hand with wrinkled brow
feeling that I'm in a rut
I'll try to leave that furrow now
yet I have no idea how

Myriads of different forms
sonnets, Haiku, prose, free verse
too many beyond most folks' norms
( I don't want to write anything terse
or so long it makes people curse)

Mind whirling, stooped shoulders tense
hand cramping holding empty pen
too many lines, too little sense
one good idea and I'll begin
still, I come up blank again

Now comes that throb behind the eyes
as tension's sweat dampens my shirt
forecasting that pain we all despise
causing me to loudly blurt
"Thinking makes my poor head hurt!"

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The THIMK in title is not an accidental mispell. Any help with lines 9 and 18 will be appreciated......stan PS blame Judy for this lol

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Candlewitch

13 years 2 months ago

Dear Stan,

my husband, Steve uses "thimk" all the time, LOL.

How about for line 8:
"no need to scribbble anything terse"

and for line 18:
"broadcasting such pain we all despise"

I liked this poem, it made me laugh becausr I could identify with it.

always, Cat

scribbler

13 years 2 months ago

Hi Cat

I was on verge of deleting this for lack of comment. Appreciate the visit and ideas. But both of them come no nearer conveying what I want so I'll keep on looking............stan

judyanne

13 years 2 months ago

a fun read stan

all trochaic except for the following… with my suggestions :)

‘yet I have no idea how ‘ (yet I’ve no real idea how)

‘too many beyond most folks' norms’ (many, most beyond folks norms)

‘I don't want to write anything terse’ (not keen to write a verse that’s terse)
- lol - this one line that's iambic as i can't think how to change it in this short time

‘or so long it makes people curse ‘ ( nor one long that readers curse )

‘Mind whirling, stooped shoulders tense’ (whirling mind and shoulders tense)

‘forecasting that pain we all despise’ (forecasting pain we all despise)

love judy
xxx

scribbler

13 years 2 months ago

Hi Judy

Thanks for the ideas. Might take a while to impliment as comp is acting very wonky and taking way too long to even download comments and replies, but I Will get this reading a bit better. Maybe my Comp also got a headache lol.......stan