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China Blue
China Blue
Jan 26, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

I Thought Of You Today

Secluded streets in lamplight lie
Awash with cleansing rain
Awaiting dawns first sign
life has begun again

concentric circles on pavement form
left by heaven's tears
the solitude of this night
forever cast in years

I watch the drops trickle down the pane
and thoughts are of you once again
so long since I've heard your voice
memories did not leave a choice

With face in hands
I try to hide
the tears
beneath the rain

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, James Patterson, Dean Koontz, Leonard Cohen

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

13 years 5 months ago

Dear Chrys

I like your gentle rhyming pattern. The change in pattern in the third and fourth verse does not hurt the poem. I am tuned into the subject matter, being a gloomy sort of old biddy. (I like it very much)

These lines plucked my heart strings:

With face in hands
I try to hide
the tears that are the rain

always, Cat

China Blue

China Blue

13 years 5 months ago

Cat

Thank you
since when are you an old biddy lol far from it M'dear

Ian.T

Ian.T

13 years 5 months ago

Chrys

I remember a song that said "I will do my crying in the rain"
A lovely write there, with all the memories flooding in where the tears are for times gone by both you and I, Yours Ian.T

China Blue

China Blue

13 years 5 months ago

Ian

good to see you. many thanks for reading

S

scribbler

13 years 5 months ago

hello

I enjoyed this but even so I have a few things to offer lol
L-3 and 4
..awaiting the first sign of dawn
..declaring life's begun again
L-9 delete the
L-11 Try so long since.....
last line maybe the tears beneath the rain?
just a few ideas for you to use or not.........stan

China Blue

China Blue

13 years 5 months ago

Wesley

LOL
many thanks for stopping by and reading and of all things liking it lol
thanks again
Chryys

W

WonderGolly

13 years 5 months ago

Beautiful :)

the speaker seem to miss a loved one
and lost in the quietness of the moment whiles watching the raindrops,
a recollection of days gone come back again.
Yet it's only a shadow of the past which the speaker for a moment they were real.

I enjoyed the rhyming and the imagery (...heaven's tears)

great work.

respects:

WonderGolly :)

China Blue

China Blue

13 years 5 months ago

Wonder

thank you very much for your kind comments. That is exactly what this poem is about. It is always a pleasure to see a new person reading my work
Chrys

R

raj

13 years 5 months ago

Hi Chrys..

just like Cat said..it plucked my heart string too...beautiful sentments expressed so nicely...