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Mr joghe
Mr joghe
Jul 17, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week July 17th through July 23 2022

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I Waited All My Years

With the candle lights
I shot him in a couple
In his briefcase
Painted with hallow tears of coat
That went down in a blur mirror to a dungeon
Not only had he gone, but all after war
With his brodie and dodie.

I counted my shoots with my capture sounds
That won my tosh tears
To ribbon my hand with flower
That kisses the earth and worms;
Like a dummy, I waited all my years
If anyone would shoot my briefcase in a couple.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The briefcase means coffin. The shoot means to press the camera captured button. The setting of the poem is the cemetery. I was invited there as cameraman... I was thoughtful.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Osun State, Nigeria, NGA

Favorite Poets: William Wordsworth, Niyi Osundare, Wole Soyinka, J.P Clack

More from this author

Comments

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

3 years ago

An interesting

Take on your experience. Thank you for your explanation as it now makes perfect sense.

Jackweb

Jackweb

3 years ago

Time of life !

Reminiscing about your past experience sometimes is good but don't focus on it. Allow all to fizzle out and be who you reallly are.
.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

3 years ago

hello,

I really like the imagery and metaphors, they make the piece of work striking!

always, Cat