Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jul 03, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
I want to make you feel God's love
I want to make you feel
God's love
That he gave to us
Without even ask
We are also happy to receive
Some free God's love
Yes we are also his children
That he made with his holy hands
A long time ago
We are having a hard time
Surviving the heat
Also it is feeling sticky
The heat
During this Summer night
We are going to sleep
At midnight
Because we are not tired yet
And the next day
We will wake up
At 4:00 pm
Then we will work
For our God
Writing poems
Because we are
God's poet
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by Aldo Kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
The poem presents a straightforward meditation on divine love and the experience of daily life, blending spiritual themes with mundane details. The opening lines establish a clear intent: to communicate the feeling of “God’s love.” The language is direct, almost conversational, which creates an accessible tone.
There is a notable juxtaposition between the spiritual (“God’s love,” “his holy hands,” “God’s poet”) and the ordinary (“Surviving the heat,” “feeling sticky,” “sleep… at midnight,” “wake up at 4:00 pm”). This contrast could be interpreted as an attempt to find the sacred within the everyday, but the connection between these elements remains underdeveloped. The poem’s movement from the universal (“we are also his children”) to the specific (“we will wake up / At 4:00 pm”) is abrupt, and the logic of these transitions is not fully articulated.
The poem’s syntax and grammar are inconsistent. For example, “Without even ask” is grammatically incomplete, and “Some free God’s love” is unclear in meaning. These choices may be intentional, aiming for a childlike or naïve voice, but they risk confusing the reader and undermining the poem’s authority.
The use of repetition (“We are also,” “We are having,” “We are going,” “We will”) provides a sense of communal voice, but the lack of variation in phrasing can make the poem feel monotonous. The imagery is minimal, with “the heat,” “sticky,” and “Summer night” being the only concrete sensory details. These could be developed further to ground the poem’s abstract themes.
The poem concludes with the assertion that “we are / God’s poet,” which gestures toward a collective creative purpose. However, the poem does not explore what it means to be “God’s poet” beyond writing poems. Expanding on this idea could provide greater depth and resonance.
Overall, the poem’s simplicity is both a strength and a limitation. The spiritual intent is clear, but the execution would benefit from more precise language, richer imagery, and a more cohesive structure connecting the spiritual and the everyday.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact