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Apr 09, 2021
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I will show you( chalenge#2)
Where do I find love
answer to that would be
do not look for it
it will find you
How will I find peace
meditation
relaxing the body
soul and mind
How will I find God
just look around you
in nature,in smiles in family and friends
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
4 years 2 months ago
I like the premise...
but I'm not sure that you've made much of an impact here. I was/am looking for a little more passion. Maybe if you answer each question with a more personal reply? Such as:
Where do I find love?
"Do not look for it, it will find you"
How will I find peace?
"Meditation
relaxing the body
soul and mind"
Just a thought that maybe some punctuation and spacing could give it a bigger impact.
~ Geez.
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c lynn brooks
4 years 2 months ago
Geezer
you should know by now I do not punctuate when writing free verse it is an age old argument so what I tell folks is google it I'm not arguing anymore. hmm I don't know that punctuation in this case would work ya know it does not change the wording any and it was meant to be soft and subtle almost like a prayer but I appreciate the input I may not use it but always consider it
Geezer
4 years 2 months ago
Not an argument...
just an observation and the same advice that I would have given anyone. The spacing idea could still work without punctuation. Gee.
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