I'll Be Back...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem demonstrates a clear thematic progression, moving from personal reflection into imaginative exploration, and finally into a humorous, slightly ironic conclusion. Structurally, the rhyme scheme is consistent and straightforward, which contributes to readability and rhythm. However, there are areas where the poem could be strengthened:

1. Imagery and Specificity:
The poem references "many different lands," "footpaths without traces," and "foreign shores," but these phrases are somewhat vague. Consider adding more concrete imagery or sensory details to enhance the reader's experience and engagement.

2. Originality and Depth:
The stanza beginning "I've ideas never thought before..." claims originality explicitly. However, the poem does not provide clear examples or illustrations of these unique ideas. Instead of simply stating originality, consider demonstrating it through vivid, specific examples or scenarios.

3. Tone and Consistency:
The shift in tone at the end, moving toward humor ("Huh... I thought that they were here"), is abrupt. While humor can be effective, the transition from reflective and imaginative to humorous could benefit from more careful preparation or foreshadowing earlier in the poem. This would help the reader feel less surprised by the sudden shift in tone.

4. Language and Word Choice:
Some phrasing, such as "Imagination, took me paths," feels awkward grammatically and interrupts the poem's flow. Consider revising this line for smoother readability, perhaps "Imagination led me down paths," or something similarly clear and natural.

In summary, the poem would benefit from increased specificity in imagery, clearer demonstrations of originality, smoother transitions between tones, and careful attention to language and phrasing.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hi Geezer, I think your poem manages to be both quietly triumphant and deeply personal. This stanza speaks loudest to me.

I've ideas never thought before,
I bet you'll never see,
anything like them anywhere,
because they just occurred to me.

Your poem and the way you've written it gives the reader a taste of your ability to deliver humour, wisdom and honesty. It feels effortless, conversational, and still, it is layered with meaning. And your words linger long after the poem is read. Great poetry by a great poet. Well done Ruby xx

Love it Geez! Wonderful journey through the process of your imagination - well done sir.

Best