Illusion of the moon

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Illusion of the Moon" presents a vivid and emotional narrative, using imagery and metaphor to convey the speaker's feelings and experiences. However, there are some areas where the poem could be improved.

Firstly, the poem could benefit from more consistent punctuation. The question mark at the end of the poem seems out of place, as it doesn't follow a question. If the intention was to convey uncertainty or surprise, it would be more effective to use a full sentence that clearly expresses this sentiment.

Secondly, the poem could use more varied sentence structures to create a more dynamic rhythm. For example, the line "It was a gentle palm" could be rephrased as "A gentle palm it was," to break up the pattern of the sentences starting with "It was" or "I was."

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more specific and unique descriptions. For example, instead of saying "a glistening liquid glass," the poem could describe what makes this particular scene or moment unique. This could be achieved by adding sensory details or by using more specific metaphors or similes.

In conclusion, while the poem effectively uses imagery and metaphor to convey emotion, it could be improved by incorporating more varied sentence structures, more consistent punctuation, and more specific descriptions.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

It is my opinion that this line could be strengthened by rephrasing:

Where I feel I felt safe (to: where I sought to feel safe. or something of that ilk. feel and felt are repetitious) I would also lose the question mark swap it for (ellipses which are three dots ...)

I like your poem it is pretty and calming!
*hugs, Cat

Dreams are most often are too good to be true