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Im angry

It is ineligant.
It is ugly.

I'm angry.
I'm angry.

I wake up angry.
I try,try and try but even sleep angry.
I have run out of skin to cut.
Bleeding does not defuse my pain anymore.

I simmer,
In self pity,
Anger,
Stupidity
.....hopes and dreams that hope is coming

An apocalypse is not what we see in movies

It's realising life is kinda shitty
And, you have to hold on to some branch...

I dunno if it's meant to be olive. Im in Africa.

I just want a day of peace.
One where:

I'm not drinking to feel numb.And,

Im not counting all the fingers I have to feel real.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: ZAF

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 2 weeks ago

It is inelegant...

to be angry all the time. It's ugly too.
I'm angry that anyone could be angry all the time.
Not at you, but the conditions that you have to live with.
I often wonder if the heads of government don't realize that if the people are happy, they can stay in power forever! No one would care.

Studity [did you mean stupidity]?

I love the lines:
"An apocalypse is not what we see in movies.

It's realizing life is kinda shitty,
and you have to hold on to some branch...
I dunno if it's meant to be olive. I'm in Africa.

I just want a day of peace.

This piece speaks volumes. ~ Geez.
.

kowque

kowque

1 month 2 weeks ago

Thank you for stopping by

I guess my "happy" phase is over
The too warm reality has set in again

I went to the unveiling of my murdered grandmother's grave

And we had no water,pissed in buckets.....had no electricity and I realised that wanting comfort leads you to a place of entitlement.

Why wish to win the lotto when you have been poor your whole life? Why generate anger for someone or some thing you have never had? Its green bile. It's envy. It's tiring.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

1 month 1 week ago

Dear Koki,

This poem of yours really resonated with me! Even though I am safe now, have been for a number of years... i am still haunted in my dreams and wake up screaming, wet with sweat. I doubt that feeling will ever go away completely! This is the part of your poem which really got to me:

I wake up angry.
I try,try and try but even sleep angry.
I have run out of skin to cut.
Bleeding does not defuse my pain anymore.

the skin is much older now, and I resist the urges to cut and bleed, it is still really hard to not hurt myself. thank you for posting this. Be strong, sister of the blood. I will light a candle and make a wish of peace for you.

love sent to you, Cat

kowque

kowque

1 month 1 week ago

Im immensely sorry

For what you have been through

Teach me a spell to sleep. Im not asking for much . I feel too much.

Thank you for stopping by sweet one