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The I'm Still Here Show

So you think that
You are not worth
A damn dime

I need a moment—
The words flying in my head
Might turn into nuclear missiles

Here we go, let me
Lay these words on your empty bed
Mute the nonsense
Hear what doubt hopes
You never comprehend:

You are the sun
To someone’s darkness,
The simple hello
To the one who thinks
Only silence speaks

Yes, there will be
Winds and waves
That leave you
Unable to take
Another step—

But even then,
Your story has just
Turned to the next page

Forget the nightmares
The world awaits
Your dreams turned
To reality,
Not your final goodbye

Keep giving doubt
Another episode
Of the "I’m still here" show

 

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, USA

Favorite Poets: Cavafi, Sylvia Plath and Neopoet as a whole.

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neopoet

neopoet

10 months 1 week ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses metaphor and imagery to convey a message of resilience and self-worth. The use of the phrase "nuclear missiles" in the second stanza is a powerful metaphor that conveys the potential destructive power of negative self-perception. The poem then transitions into a more comforting tone, using metaphors like "you are the sun to someone's darkness" to illustrate the positive impact one can have on others.

The structure of the poem is also well thought out. Each stanza builds upon the previous one, creating a narrative that moves from self-doubt to resilience. The repetition of the phrase "I'm still here" at the end of the poem effectively emphasizes this theme of resilience.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm or rhyme scheme. As it stands, the rhythm fluctuates throughout the poem, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. Implementing a more consistent rhythm could enhance the overall reading experience.

Additionally, the poem's message could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or scenarios. While the metaphors and imagery are effective, they are somewhat abstract. Providing concrete examples could make the poem more relatable and impactful for readers.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more explicit exploration of the "I'm still here" theme. While this theme is present throughout the poem, it is only explicitly mentioned in the final stanza. Expanding on this theme earlier in the poem could make the final stanza more impactful.

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