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Jun 28, 2022
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Imagined Roads
Emanating steam conjures visions of you.
Secret smile and iris, a wreath of green fire.
Dreams of clover fresh with dew
Beneath widest skies of blue desire.
My cup is filled and filled again
And shall be evermore
Of endless journeys, imagined roads
That lead me weary to your door
But all is wanton twist of fate
And rift is wide though vision true
That builds this longing fast desire
And sees my swift return to you
Heart is tethered to your anchor
Heavy crown and gleaming sword
Against impending bleak disasters
Cast around us many wards
Around this heart and vessel make
A talisman for needless fears
And love within my soul awake
Gives birth to silver joyful tears
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Sometimes the comfort of my lover is the best nut place I need to be and it’s so far away but sitting in the same room with life getting in the way. This is a poem about that.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Candlewitch
3 years ago
dear R.A.
I was a little unclear on your (last few words) but the poem itself is magnificent. so much (I hate this word) "Love" it is nice to have a person and place to shelter from the storm. especially when one is foot-sore and all over weary. I liked these lines best:
Of heart and anchor
Oh crown and swords
Against devastating, dark disasters
Be thy caster of many wards
*warm smiles, Cat
Rosewood Apothecary
3 years ago
Last few words
So I’m a crier. And sometimes that means tears of joy. A lot of the time it’s that bittersweet feeling of both joy and sadness. Pertinent background info: my wife and I are in the midst of elementary/middle school with two children. Maintaining the romantic side of things cannot be spontaneous because there’s just no time. So we plan our dates and we go away on little trips without the kids. The poem is written while waiting, no, needing the next adventure to come soon. So I cry because I’m a little sad but mostly because I can see the lighthouse beacon in the distance after so long at sea.
Tim
Candlewitch
3 years ago
dear Tim,
I'm so sorry, i didn't mean to offend you! I was just confused about the word (nut) that is all. I apologize, honestly!
*hugs, Cat
Rosewood Apothecary
3 years ago
No offense taken
I’m not easily offended. Thanks for being sensitive enough to mention it though.
Tim
Geezer
3 years ago
Nice to have...
a place to go.
The fourth verse seems a little unwieldy
and I took the liberty of rearranging it to
bring about the same meaning, but with a little
more smoothness?
Through thy casting of many wards
Against devastating disaster
The crown and deadly swords
You are my heart and anchor
~ Geezer.
.