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Jan 15, 2023
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Impediment
They had told her from the start
But no amount of laughing or scolding or pleading
Would convince her otherwise
They begged her to take her life off pause
She begged them to believe in what was never there
She cried
An illusion draped before her eyes
The moonlight drew her the same outline every night
At her request
She doted and was not doted on
She hoped
But disappointment swelled in her
She breathed
It never feeling like she was truly living but
She was her own Impediment
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 6 months ago
The rhythm and pacing
Near perfect. I sailed on your words like a lonely sea. I feel like it rests where it needs to breathe. Sorry you’re feeling stuck. Personally I’m touched by the theme as I have felt this way at times. I’m glad you’re here with us getting it out and sharing your thoughts. Internalization is problematic. We have your back.
Tim