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Improv
No this is what you think it's not an impromptu / Usually I let my words hoola hoop in my mind til I lose the rythmn / Cause even on a decline I am forever lost in thought / even without being spoken thru a mic / my words possess me / So excuse me as I exercise that thought region / I can't remember that's what side of the brain / Maintaining sanity in such a mad world /History repeating cause somethings can't help but remain / Those that lose more then they gain / Find ways to become stingy / Those who are overfed / Only grow more greedy / People walk pass me everyday and still don't see me / Still I'm something like a cool breeze on the hottest day / Not half full or half empty / I just had an epifhany of being the epitimy of that which is undefinable / I'd lie if I said I have never told a lie / Lie detector didn't detect it though / So something about it must've been true / The truth makes plenty people uncomfortable / They find it easier to live there life with lies / Those eyes can't hide what lies beneath / Survival of the fittest / Just a way to cast out Intelligence / Huh?
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 4 months ago
Hell Numero,
Good title. This sounds like a rap. Verty interesting style and concept!
Welcome to Neo Poet!
always, Cat
Numero Negativ…
13 years 4 months ago
Glad you liked it
I am a poet and a lyrisist so even when I'm writing poetry a certain flow exist