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Apr 08, 2025
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Incurable Attraction
In twilight’s hush, where shadows dance and play,
A fleeting glimpse of beauty left a permanent mark,
And in a boisterous mind, where dark thoughts lurk,
A whispered promise of love is heard which paved a way.
A gaze from her seductive hazelnut eyes,
Echoes a heartbeat in my mind that refuses to be silenced,
And one glance at her luscious lips,
Feels like a carefully brewed potion that’ll make anyone fall
in love.
She hoards an astonishing paraphernalia,
Where in a world full of red and blue,
She stands out like a white regalia,
And words can never elucidate why I’m so into you.
Her soul gleams of civility,
And her presence brings anyone, serene tranquility.
We align like stars in the constellation,
She surpassed my every expectation,
And that is why she lingers in my imagination,
I know what happened last time but that was an unstable
type of infatuation.
This time it’s a different kind of fixation,
It’s the kind that makes me smile while doing the dishes,
When I think of her, I’m filled with motivation,
It’s the kind of love that makes me wish for a genie that’ll grant me more than three wishes.
It’s the kind of love that brings me consolation,
The kind of love that makes her kisses my everyday emancipation.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI - version 2.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Incurable Attraction" beautifully captures the essence of infatuation and love through vivid imagery and emotional depth. The use of descriptive language like "seductive hazelnut eyes" and "luscious lips" creates a sensory experience for the reader, drawing them into the speaker's intense feelings. The contrast between light and dark, beauty and darkness, adds complexity to the theme of attraction.
One suggestion for improvement would be to consider varying the rhythm and meter throughout the poem to enhance its flow and musicality. This can help create a more dynamic reading experience and prevent the poem from feeling monotonous.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further exploration of the consequences or implications of this intense attraction. Delving deeper into the speaker's internal struggles or the complexities of the relationship could add layers of depth to the narrative.
Overall, "Incurable Attraction" is a compelling exploration of love and infatuation, and with some refinement in rhythm and deeper exploration of themes
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
2 months 2 weeks ago
Hello!
Within your poem you have employed intriguing descriptors and imagery! It is very nice to meet you, and welcome to Neopoet! I will be watching for more entries from you. hope to see you soon. my favorite lines are:
It’s the kind of love that brings me consolation,
The kind of love that makes her kisses my everyday
emancipation.
always, Cat
Lavender
2 months 2 weeks ago
Incurable Attraction
Greetings, and welcome to Neopoet!
"...smile while doing the dishes." Love that line. Even though you've listed this as free verse, it has a fun off-beat rhythm and rhyme which adds to its cheerfulness - very enjoyable.
Thank you,
Lavender