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S

scribbler

Jul 14, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

IMAGERY IN POETRY( ready to start?)

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Infant Sorrow by William Blake(Stripped for imagery shop)

Infant Sorrow (submitted by Rula)

My mother groaned, my father wept:
Into the dangerous world I leapt,
Helpless, naked, piping loud,
Like a fiend hid in a cloud.

Struggling in my father's hands,
Striving against my swaddling-band
Bound and weary, I thought best
To sulk upon my mother's breast.

stripped version :
Mother groaned, father wept
into the world I lept

Struggling in hands
striving
I thought best
to sulk

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Hopefully this keeps enough of the bones to be identifiable

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

7 years 11 months ago

Hello Stan

I am not sure I am getting the idea of stripping the poem from imagery. If I am to strip this poem I won't keep words like wept, lept and groaned. Yes they are verbs but they show much as I see it. What do you think?

S

7 years 11 months ago

Hi Rula

I am trying to strip as much as I can but still leave enough so that a later reader can still get the gist of the poem. I might have given better instructions

S

7 years 11 months ago

Hi Rula

I am trying to strip as much as I can but still leave enough so that a later reader can still get the gist of the poem. I might have given better instructions

7 years 11 months ago

That's more like it.

Most of the stripped poems I have read are full of imagery. Yours is not. You truly ruined the poem without losing its meaning. Well done on the exercise. you did it.

S

7 years 11 months ago

Hi Wes

There a thin line between stripping everything which remotely could be considered imagery and trying to keep enough of the poem to still have its bones

7 years 11 months ago

I was just

trying to understand how much imagery we should strip. Now I get it.
Thank you.

S

7 years 11 months ago

The

Reason for trying to maintain the meaning of the poem when stripped will become evident later on

7 years 11 months ago

I have only one mssion now on Neopoet.

To get a smile or laugh out of Wesley.
Better still, for you to say something funny, Wes.

S

7 years 11 months ago

OK

Why did ant crawl up the cow's back leg twice? Because he got pissed off the first time......that work?

7 years 11 months ago

I will confess...

that I don't any longer seem to have a sense of humor.
You keep trying Jess. I would love to laugh again.
I smile sometimes.
Good joke Stan.

7 years 11 months ago

My favourite-

Did you hear about the dyslectic, agnostic, insomniac?

He lies awake in bed at night wondering if there is a dog.