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Rhiannon1010
Rhiannon1010
Aug 25, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Insanity

Drip, drip, drip,
like a faucet leaking slow,
running through my mind,
like a rabbit in the snow.

Tick, tick, tick,
like a clock that counts the time,
snatching at my focus,
whirling like a dime.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Alfred Noyes, T. S. Eliot, Lewis Carroll, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, William Wordsworth, William Blake, Seamus Heaney, Robert Herrick

More from this author

Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 11 months ago

Cute,

but needs more to give real content.

Rhiannon1010

Rhiannon1010

13 years 11 months ago

thanks

im glad y'all commented. My purpose in making it a short poem was so that you would be left craving more and let it drive u crazy, hence INSANITY

weirdelf

weirdelf

13 years 10 months ago

LOL, it worked.

The drip drip drip brings to our modern horrid minds waterboarding and chinese water torture.

lou

lou

13 years 11 months ago

Rhiannon

I enjoyed this poem, and I can see what you were trying to do but I think it deserves one more stanza.

Was the White rabbit a Lewis Caroll reference ?

Good stuff

Lou