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Sep 13, 2022
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Inside the mind of a Scourned side chick
You say you want me forever,
Yet and still I haven’t seen the day,
That you actually pay attention to the things I do or say,
You say that you love me and will always want me around,
Yet you meet me in secret and show her all over town,
You appear in the dark and leave before the light,
Always with the promise that “Ill see you again 2nite”’
You always have an excuse of why you cant leave her,But when compared you tell me I am the keeper, You say one day things will change, But I wake up and it a new day with the same old bullshit and everything remains the same constantly playin me like im a game!!!!
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
3 years ago
Welcome
Welcome to the site. The title and poem are very straightforward. You’re pretty good at tapping into the emotions surrounding arrangements such as this. Writing style is not bad but I’m going to make a few suggestions in a second.
I read your bio and I also have struggles with addiction. I have always been a writer, since before I was an addict. I think it’s very likely that your writing could touch another addict because it has already (albeit in different stages of recovery with different addictions which I have many). You’ll get support here and you’ll get good advice on your poems too. You can message me anytime if you’re feeling like you need to talk.
Welcome to the site, I look forward to reading more,
Tim