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Mar 01, 2012
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Insignificant Bit
She chose me first
then let me go
as quickly as she came.
I took her sadness,
gave her joy
and was left
with worthless shards.
Her bitterness
had made her cold
and she kept
her heart's lock shut.
I tried to break
the iron lock
but was burned
by her untrusting glare.
Today, I breathe
without her aid,
I sleep sans
thoughts of her,
but she still lingers,
deep within dark
caverns of my mind.
And if I idle long enough
and wander far and wide,
she'll take the chance
and stab my heart
like she did that awful morn.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This poem is about a girl I met on campus, with whom I thought I would have the best of friendships. Then she left. It was turbulent, but seeing her brings back memories. Today, she got another poem out of me. Never mind the emotional bit, let me know what you think about the poem :)
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
emogothgirl
13 years 4 months ago
nice
you could tell there was emotion in it, especially because of the title, but maybe that's just me. the title made me think that there was more to it and maybe she wasn't as insignificant as you think?
always,
mag
William Saint George
13 years 4 months ago
Well, I was rather the
Well, I was rather the insignificant bit in her life. The title doesn't rly seem to fit well with the poem itself, imo. :(
Thanks for the read. Really appreciated.
emogothgirl
13 years 4 months ago
ah
i see.