Intention

Beaver.
Takes little bites.
Master creator until...
Tail slaps on twilight surface.
Going home.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I am experimenting with short poems -- they are my training wheels I suppose. I want to learn how to be subtle with imagery and themes

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Canada, BC

Comments

Jackweb

3 years 10 months ago

A quintain poetry

I love the poetic form here.

Beavers are the second-largest living rodents after the capybaras. semi-aquatic rodents in the genus Castor native to the temperate Northern Hemisphere.

stunning imagery!
(a) Beaver
Takes little bites..

(b) Tail slaps on twilight surface
Going home

Owl Has My Soul

3 years 10 months ago

Yes - I really like the Cinquain form too. I am happy with the imagery as well. I love the sound of beaver tail slaps on water when I am lucky enough to hear them. Like hearing the call of a loon on a lake. Such a supernatural sound...

Owl Has My Soul

3 years 10 months ago

Thanks Mark

Honestly I am intrigued as to what you would suggest for adding advanced punctuation. I would love you to show me how you would do so... I am here to learn after all...