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Dec 01, 2020
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Intonation
I feel like an overflowing river,
streaming consciousness.
I feel like an instrument,
tuned to your pitch.
Drink me, play me;
here I am, waiting
in this eternity,
breathing integration
as a calibration
to the connection of our bodies.
We entertained close enough
for our stories to intertwine, now
unraveling one another
from the fabric
floating again along the cosmos.
I tune into
this distant dance
surrendering me
to relax
from the acquiescence
of gentleness
upon smooth skin.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: While this poem is subversively sexual, so is nature. This poem spoke to me for this contest as a chance to feel the way writing converges the mind into art. I hope that the oneness of nature is conveyed in this poem, "Intonation."
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
4 years 7 months ago
A love story...
Something that makes us what we are. Creatures of the world, one with the universe. Your language is good and does not
require me to go to the dictionary; which is always a bummer. It flowed well from beginning to end. Nice job. Welcome to Neo.
I hope that we see many more from you. ~ Geezer.
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