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Aug 28, 2011
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Irene (ver 2.0)
Oh! Goddess of Peace
have mercy on the mortals
do save our souls
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Dalton
13 years 10 months ago
Hi Raj
Nice short piece. Is this a haiku, usually I would remove the word "the" from the last line. "The" grief sounds wrong to me. Butt hen I don't wish to interfere with the laws of that technique.
John
raj
13 years 10 months ago
John
thank you for the read and your comment...yes it is a haiku..
you are right about "the" causing a jarring effect...i have altered the line...hope this reads better...
Dalton
13 years 10 months ago
Hi Raj
I'm glad you are far away from the effects of this terrible event.
John
raj
13 years 10 months ago
you are right John..
you are right John...physically i am far away but thoughts are with those who have been afflicted...which inspired this write...
scribbler
13 years 10 months ago
Hi raj
It appears that this storm is not going to be quite as damaging as was believed, but still pretty bad. A timely Haiku.......stan
raj
13 years 10 months ago
yes Stan..thankfully Irene
yes Stan..thankfully Irene the Goddess of peace has eased off and shown mercy..
loved
13 years 10 months ago
they come like airy tsunamis
thank god
for your haiku
AND DIVINE
mercy
raj
13 years 10 months ago
Hi Loved..
thanks for stopping by and dropping a comment...
magics02
13 years 10 months ago
Amen Raj
Nicely done. I share your sentiment for all the family and friends from the New England States.
Mona
raj
13 years 10 months ago
Hi Mona
thank you for the read and comment...its nice to know that Irene did have some mercy on the mortals and the devastation of the hurricane was much less than was anticipated and feared...
weirdelf
13 years 10 months ago
Sorry, I don't like it.
it is a trite prayer.
You have done and could do better.
raj
13 years 10 months ago
thank you Jess for sharing
thank you Jess for sharing your frank opinion...it is appreciated...
Cheers!