Is it your heart?

Can you be mine? – I ask,
Unfold your soul,
You are a river of love
Looking right into you
And seeing
Reflection of me.
Mirror of water,
Gentle feel of your hand,
Is it your heart
I reached?
Or have I just touched
A rainbow?

About This Poem

Last Few Words: English is my second language. I would like to know if the way I express myself in English is accurate. Thank you.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Cape, South Africa

Favorite Poets: Mary Oliver, Marina Tsvetaeva, Anna Akhmatova

Comments

Rula

9 years 9 months ago

Hello Annie

and a warm welcome to the Neopoet.
Very much enjoyed you little poem and well expressed with simple words. There is nothing wrong about that.
I especially liked the closing line with the raw emotions.
Hope to read more of yours
Welcome again.

Annie Hamman

9 years 9 months ago

Thank you Rula! :)

alidzain

9 years 9 months ago

Hi Annie!

Welcome to the group! Wow! I remember my first poem here and I haveta tell you, it isn't even half as good as this. Well done. Keep on writing. I'm looking forward to reading many more of your poems! (Salute)!!

Alid

Annie Hamman

9 years 8 months ago

Thank you so much for your

Thank you so much for your kind comment Alid... :)

Eduardo Cruz

9 years 9 months ago

Annie

I agree with everyone on this little treasure of emotions.
I loved "unfold your soul" there is a lot of meaning in does few words, for me it is the tell all of the poem. A letting go kind of, dropping all barriers and let love come flowing in and out
Thanks and welcome home!!
Eddie C.

Annie Hamman

9 years 8 months ago

Thank you so much for

Thank you so much for welcoming me Eddie and for your kind words. :)

Roscoe Lane

9 years 8 months ago

A beautiful,

A beautiful poem to start with, hope to get a lot more from you. A heartfelt welcome to Neopoet. Love Roscoe...

scribbler

9 years 8 months ago

Hi Annie

Welcome to the asylum lol. This sounds like somebody truly smitten. .............stan PS if you have any troubles navigating just ask me or anybody else and if I or they can't help we'll refer you to somebody who can