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Nov 18, 2014
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It's Happening Again!
This IS Madness, I say!
I wish it will go away
but the error in connection,
keeps haunting me for no reason!
"Website cannot be displayed?
Is this some sick joke, mate?"
I asked my computer
but I get no answer.
My patience grows thin
as the seconds tick away.
Why do I keep stumbling
for two whole days?
Help me, friend,
I'm at my wits end.
The problem keeps repeating,
making me feel like weeping.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Rula
10 years 8 months ago
At last /least you're here now Khalid
now.
Shall come back to this with fresh eyes tomorro Insha'a Allah.
It's forty five past one here. Tooooo late. :)
alidzain
10 years 8 months ago
Salam, Rula
The problem still exist. It is only because I have saved my neopoet user account as a bookmark that I can have a chance to be here after some struggling.
Alid
Rula
10 years 7 months ago
Is it a problem with the site
Khalid or your computer? Hope things get better soon.
I know the feeling when you're hooked to the place.
I'd only suggest replacing "crying" with "weeping" as it rhymes better with repeating, but not a big deal.
I like the spontaneity of this.
alidzain
10 years 7 months ago
Salam, Rula
It's still not okay.:(
Alid