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It's May

It's May

Marigolds pop up
to swing and sway and
hopefully
stay.

Then,
they may,
oh how I wish,
that they'd pop up
again,

Mayhap
next May?

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 year 2 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem demonstrates a clear understanding of rhythm and repetition. The repetition of "May" and "may" creates a pleasing echo effect that ties the poem together. However, the use of "Mayhap" seems to disrupt the rhythm and might be replaced with a more fitting word or phrase.

The poem could benefit from more vivid imagery. While "Marigolds pop up" gives a basic image, the poem could delve deeper into the sensory experience of May and marigolds. For example, describing the color, scent, or texture of the marigolds could enhance the reader's experience.

The line "hopefully / stay" is a bit ambiguous. If the intention is to express a wish for the marigolds to remain in bloom, this could be made clearer.

The phrase "oh how I wish" seems to introduce a new tone into the poem. If this is intentional, it could be developed further to create a stronger emotional impact. If not, consider revising this line to maintain the poem's consistent tone.

Finally, the poem could benefit from a stronger conclusion. The question "next May?" leaves the reader hanging. A more definitive ending could provide a satisfying resolution.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

1 year 2 months ago

Hi Rula...

I'm thinking that you could do without the "until fall".
I follow the rest of the thoughts about may, mayhap and May; a clever wordplay on the word may. ~ Geez.
.

Rula

Rula

1 year 2 months ago

Thank you sir

for reading and the suggestion.
I found it quite reasonable and hence implemented as suggested.
Much appreciated.

T

tyro

1 year 2 months ago

Hi dear Rula

A light spring poem. I do love those marigolds. Hope all is well with you, dear friend.

Tyro

Rula

Rula

1 year 2 months ago

Dear Tyro

Thank you for reading and wishes.
All is well. Thank you as always for your kindness.

Lavender

Lavender

1 year 1 month ago

It's May

Hello, Rula!
What a fun, cheery poem! It makes me smile!
I especially love the way the word "mayhap" blends itself into the poem. Very clever! (May is my favorite month - I'm sad to see it go...)
Thank you!
Lx

Rula

Rula

1 year 1 month ago

Dear sweet friend

Me too. I'm not a big fan of summer as it comes in package with mosquito bites and all.
Thank you so much for your kind visit.
Really appreciate it and hope you're doing well.