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Jan 07, 2013
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January 2013: Fire NSW
hot wind
rattles branches
bone dry tree
the artery of fire
cracks and bleeds
it is so beautiful, it is so terrible
ash falls, wood snow,
bone dry tree
About This Poem
Last Few Words: For those of you, here today in NSW, this is one of those scary days:a tinderbox waiting for a lightening strike, some idiot with a match, maybe just a piece of glass in the bush catching the sun- and suddenly the trees are on fire and the bush blazes, it snows ash. It is so beautiful and so terrible. Lives are changed, and people run.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Ian.T
12 years 6 months ago
Jenifer
We are there with you all, sending out our love, and thoughts that you all will be safe.
Your write was very good and didn't waste a word, well written.
Yours as always Ian.T and Friends
Jenifer James
12 years 6 months ago
Thank you, sweet man.
Thank you, sweet man. Tomorrow will be a fierce day, hopefully all will be well.
Seren
12 years 6 months ago
Smacks for me
I only just realised you come from NSW !! where abouts do you live ? I live on the mid north coast a little city called Taree I am sure you've heard of it ...
its a great poem as Ian said not a word out of place
excellent work much better than my poor attempt
Brava
soooo nice to have another aussie in the fold :) !!
hugs JC xxx
Jenifer James
12 years 6 months ago
Dear JC, please never, ever,
Dear JC, please never, ever, ever, ever down your poetry - this is about us all sharing and learning and being in this wonderful forum. Your comments and your poetry are just lovely, your warmth and talent shines. We all write differently, that is all. I write bare bones, you write from your heart.
I'm down in Nowra - and of course I have heard of Taree. how exciting - maybe we will even meet up! Hope so. XXX
Seren
12 years 6 months ago
Dear Jenifer
I only say it as I see it lol its ok I've just had a bad week here's hoping it improves
I think your a wonderful poet you really have that something I'm going to love watching
You grow this is a good place if you want to better your work
Would love to meet up sometime not many poets around where I come from lol
Hugs n love ~
Jenifer James
12 years 6 months ago
Hugs and love to you too, may
Hugs and love to you too, may your week get better and sweeter.
Geezer
12 years 6 months ago
This is...
both beautiful and terrible at the same time. I could see in my mind's eye, the storm of ash-like snow blanketing the parched and arid land. The brevity is striking. Looking forward to seeing more of your work. ~ Geezer
Jenifer James
12 years 6 months ago
thank you, Geezer - you seem
thank you, Geezer - you seem like an extra-ordinary man (checked your profile). What is your 'Chat on Darkside' and would I be welcome to listen in? details, please?