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Jokerface82
Jokerface82
Apr 05, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

04/25 Time Stood Still

(Read More...)

A journey into cold world

Splashed stars like freckles
Stopped glittering their silver
coats. Sound waves paused
not Reaching there distination
Eyes frozen in space black, no
oxygen.

My lungs gagged
becoming asphyxiated.
Water stopped running
The planet stopped spinning.
A journey into a new world
No evolution.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Uk, GBR

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 months 3 weeks ago

Sounds like...

the time I almost drowned. Nothing else I can compare it to. Maybe a little hint? ~ Geez.
.

Geezer

Geezer

2 months 3 weeks ago

I meant...

maybe you could give me a hint about what you were thinking when you wrote this?
~ Geezer.
.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 months 3 weeks ago

Hello Jokerface,

I have not seen you for awhile, it is good to see you posting again! good poem... good luck on the contest!

hugs, Cat