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Jan 08, 2020
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JUNGLE ZONE
Unity and Harmony
I've been breathing in cold like ice
Hoping to meet with the nature
Being without a dispute and torture
While the striving race speeds up
But in this zone where I find myself
Limping around the honey well
Longing to have a taste
But none has ever wet even the ground
Rather the particles of sugar i hope on
Has been conspired taken off my hands
Again I've been threatening of reaping
my heart and breathe
Just in sigh I took a walk away and vanished
Vengeance are of the great powers.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Nowadays in our societies the laws are only applies to the masses especially when you are hustling and trying to survive.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Chiori
5 years 6 months ago
Yeah, it is a common
Yeah, it is a common phenomenon to some of us here in Africa, according to my understanding from stanza 2, suicide is not always a way out, though sometimes life can be tough.
Simon
5 years 6 months ago
Yes
You are right about that but what I really mean there is that I've got threaten by the same oppressors the who promised me that they are going to take my life if I refuse to walk away.