Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 27, 2026
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Just an Apple
I may look like i am a lot,
But actually, i am not.
I'm so little,
I barely have something good in me,
And my taste is bitter.
If you bite me, you'll feel rotten meat,
And if you kiss me, you'll feel metal heat.
I'm not good,
Not in taste
not in acts.
I'm not the reddest apple on tree,
I'm the kind which rolls half bitten underneath.
Uneaten.
Unfinished.
I'm the kind of fruit which is sweet on the first try, but will kill you on your last.
I don't have a good side,
I only have bad ones.
I am unsymetrical
Wrinkly
Old
Mushy
Disturbing on sight
I wasn't picked when I was ripe
So now I just ruin appetite.
I am empty apple from a hollow tree,
Who comes to my land
Will not be Free.
You'll have to accept me this way,
Or try to change me.
I want to give you everything,
But i'm so little.
I have nothing in me,
I'm just an apple.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: It was suppost to be part in my love letter but I erased it. So I put here. English is not my first language And i have a problem with grammar.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
1 month 3 weeks ago
I think that...
you have done pretty well for your first post, I see that your English is fair, but you have made a couple of grammar mistakes, but nothing so serious that you can't fix it. Your spacing and layout of the piece could use a little attention too. Here is what I would do:
"If you bite me, you will [taste] rotten meat".
I'm the kind of fruit which is sweet on the first try,
but will kill you on your last.
I am [an] empty apple from a hollow tree.
[Whoever] comes to my land
Welcome to Neo. ~ Geezer.
.
.
Lavender
1 month 3 weeks ago
Just an Apple
Hello, and welcome to Neopoet!
I really enjoyed the apple/fruit metaphor, here. I am drawn to "un" words and language, and this poem has used them in a very emotionally descriptive way: uneaten, unfinished, unsymmetrical. And the "Wrinkly Old Mushy" which follows, along with "I am (an) empty apple from a hollow tree" add to the negative energy felt within the poem. There is an intriguing rhyme pattern, subtle but noticeable.
Thank you for sharing!
Lavender