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Nov 21, 2024
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Just one beer
Just one beer
A sly twin to,
You can eat only one potato chip
Who has actually managed that feat?
Wouldn’t want to know them if they did.
Restraint and will power have never
really been close friends.
No one gets dressed for just one beer.
The establishment knows it
You do too, every Friday night.
As the bartender smirks
filling the glass after being chided,
“Not too much foam.”
Alcohol reigns supreme,
outselling water,
Clouding out reason,
Breaking hearts and
Rewriting mornings
One sip at a time.
A scenario that’s older than regret
One turns into 4 beers
Why stop there?
Add a shot or maybe two,
Chase it down with bad decisions,
Until you wake in a ditch
Or across from your ex
to the sound of your alarm
going off again.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
7 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Just one beer" effectively uses imagery and metaphor to explore the theme of alcohol consumption and its potential consequences. The comparison of drinking a beer to eating a potato chip is a clever way to illustrate the difficulty of moderation, and the personification of restraint and will power as "not really close friends" further emphasizes this struggle.
However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of poetic devices. For instance, the poem starts with a metaphor but then switches to a more direct, narrative style. Maintaining a consistent style throughout could strengthen the overall impact of the poem.
Additionally, the poem could delve deeper into the psychological aspects of the theme. It currently focuses on the physical act of drinking and its immediate consequences, but exploring the emotional or psychological motivations behind the act could add another layer of complexity.
Lastly, the poem might benefit from more varied line lengths and structures. The current format is mostly uniform, and introducing more variation could create a more dynamic rhythm and pace.
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