Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jan 09, 2012
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Justification(A Nonet)
Justification for ones life lived
apologies not forthcoming
what I am is where I've been
past lies dog my footsteps
aggression flows free
within these walls
must take heed
and find
peace
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
the_fool
13 years 6 months ago
is this the one you were
is this the one you were working on in chat?
not a bad piece, but you like it raw, right?
you don't really have to tell the reader it's a nonet in the title, though i personally thank you because i had no idea what a nonet was, so i could be wrong.
there were a few cliches in there- 'follow me still', 'flows free', 'within these walls'.
it could use a little work, but pretty much everything here does.
keep 'em coming!
nullus anxietas,
t_f
China Blue
13 years 6 months ago
Mr.T
Yes it is the same one. I know I did an entire workshop on cliches and I used them here
hmmm it was hard to avoid them in order to keep the meter going as it should
thank for checking my work out I'll have to do the same with yours
Chrys
Candlewitch
13 years 6 months ago
Dear Chrys,
I'm such a dunce that I had to look up "Nonet" in my dictionary. Well, my dictionary must be a dunce, too, because this is what it said:
nonet
no·net [no nét] (plural no·nets) noun
1. composition for nine voices or instruments: a piece of music composed for nine voices or instruments
2. group of nine musicians: a group of nine singers or instrumentalists
Well.. that can't be it! So I assume that a nonet is a poem having nine lines with of nine syllables, each following line dropping a syllable count untill the last line ends with one word (syllable). Am I close?
Instead Of "follows me still" maybe you could use: "dogs my footsteps"? and "through out my head" for "within these walls"
I very much like the premis for this piece! The imagery and sentiment is there. Good title.
always, Cat
China Blue
13 years 6 months ago
Cat
nonet
9 line poem
first line starts with nine syllabuls
then 8
7 and so on
I haven't looked yet but your suggestions may or may not fit the pattern
used one I liked it better than mine
the other I might keep as itt is
thanks for the help
infinite_dwarf
13 years 6 months ago
Yes!
I LOVE the nonet style! *happy dance* it is wayyy too underused.
China Blue
13 years 6 months ago
Jess
I know you like this style, and you also know they aren't as easy to write as it may seem
Hey love your quote
thanks for reading now have to consider Cat's suggestions