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Nov 01, 2024
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Killer's Halloween Ball...
The shadows of the night
Much deeper than the dark,
They make a silent sound,
Passing by, like lonely sharks.
The goblins and the spirits
Of all who've gone before,
Come to see the new souls,
That, and something more.
Killer's party is "to die for"
It's all that, and quite the fete.
Friendships are renewed,
and there's always folks to meet.
Have you met our friend, "Heavy Evie"?
I think "Large Marge" is here.
Here come the 'old guard', Jess and Sparrow
I see the 'Moonman' drinking beer.
Holy Smokes, there goes The Lover.
Enigma, meet the private man
That lovedly was an ego-trip,
He was romantic of 12th Dan
Fairies and a few more Pixees,
Are gathered for the night,
All are bent on having fun,
During the "Killer's Party Rites".
The music's by some old guys,
Some famous sixties band.
I think it's called "Crypt Keeper Five"
Hey give them all a hand.
Dance away the hours,
Eat your fill of tasty food
Liver pate and lady's fingers
Watch your manners, don't be crude.
Oh man, there's the Witch of Candles,
She's spreading scents and cheers,
I think she's had a few too many,
I know she likes her beers.
Mmmmm... smell that barbecue,
Such sizzle on the tongue.
Killer's secret-recipe sauce,
Mixed with herbs from "Old Man Wong".
Let's play some games of luck, my friend,
Or maybe some of skill.
I feel real sharp tonight, I'm hot,
Do you see, "I'm dressed to kill?"
RoseBlack, I see your make-up,
Girl, you've got it going on.
Black is your favorite color, it suits you,
And your skin is pale and wan.
I'm seeing more of the old gang now,
Here's Stan and his lovely wife,
Sue's an old hand at keeping tabs
on Scribbler's wandering life.
Wow, who are all these old guys?
Smoking weed and drinking "Jack"
Ahhh... There's Dracula and the Wolfman
Passing joints behind their back.
I'd have a hit, but my lungs done quit,
Though I've got cookies, yes I do.
Eat a few of these, you'll be in the breeze
Here's two for little old you.
Dancin' to "Superstition",
Steve of Canadian fame,
Rocking out and howling,
I'm really glad he came.
I'll bet this party goes all night,
there's food enough for all.
There's always fun for everyone
At Killer's Halloween Ball!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I'm thinking that I should have started earlier, in order to get all of the characters that I wanted in, but my usual procrastinating self ... Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed yourself at Killers Halloween Ball.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
7 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem effectively uses imagery and character development to create an engaging and vivid Halloween scene. The use of rhyming couplets throughout the piece contributes to its rhythmic flow and enhances the storytelling aspect of the poem.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent meter to improve the overall rhythm. For example, the line "Friendships are renewed, and there's always folks to meet" is noticeably longer than the preceding lines, which disrupts the flow.
The poem introduces a variety of characters, which adds to the lively atmosphere of the scene. However, some characters are introduced without much context or development, such as "Heavy Evie" and "Large Marge". Providing more detail or backstory for these characters could enhance the reader's connection to the poem.
The poem's use of dialogue and direct address to the reader ("Do you see, 'I'm dressed to kill?'") effectively engages the reader and makes them feel part of the scene. However, the transition between narrative description and dialogue could be smoother to avoid confusion.
The use of specific cultural references, such as the '60s band and the song "Superstition", adds depth to the poem and helps to ground it in a specific time and place. However, these references may not be understood by all readers, so it could be beneficial to consider the intended audience when including such details.
Overall, the poem successfully creates a lively and engaging Halloween scene, but could benefit from a more consistent meter, more developed characters, and smoother transitions between narrative and dialogue.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
7 months 3 weeks ago
Hey guys!
I had a blast, me and my candles, at your Halloween Ball. Next time I will bring one of my Tarot card decks and do a reading for everyone! Happy Halloween! It snowed heavily yesterday and last night. So not many tricksters out and about. I loved your poem, and those who have passed are still fresh in my memory.
many hugs, Cat & eddy styx
p.s.
I think the band is: The Crypt Kicker Five
Lavender
7 months 3 weeks ago
Killer's Halloween Ball
Hello, Geezer!
Always look forward to your haunting Halloween Ball! Fun again this year! A howl-of-a-good time!
Thank you!
L
Geezer
7 months 3 weeks ago
Thank you much...
I am a big procrastinator; it would have been longer, and more people would have been there, but I ran out of time. Well, maybe if I start now...Lol
~ Geez.
.