New Member Contest January 2023 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

The Knig of Kalloo

I niggled the nog of a Niggley-Noo
Who didn’t know quite what to do
So he niggled his nog and said “Who are you?”
I replied, “I’m the King of Kalloo.”

I pummelled the pouch of a Punchy-Palloo,
An action for me that was new
He spluttered the words, “Can it really be true?”
“Are you really the King of Kalloo?”

I wiggled the wag of a Wiggleye-Woo
To my joy, he did wiggle it too
As he giggled the words “Can it really be you?”
“My old friend the King of Kallo?”

I knitted a knig for the King of Kalloo
Though I already had quite a few
But when you’re the King of a place like Kalloo
There isn’t a lot else to do.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: England, UK

Favorite Poets: My tastes are varied in poetry, as in music. From Shakespeare to Lear; from Wordsworth to John Cooper Clarke. I wander aimless as a cloud through meadows of words. John Donne was an old favourite, too, yet I loved the poetic lyrics of the Two Ronnies, set to music, but poetry all the same.

Comments

Triskelion

2 years 6 months ago

This is a

..pleasant ditty ideal for entertaining little ones. Your metre is spot on and the pace complements the subject. Very little to nitpick on this, but perhaps one comma missing in the exclamation of the Wiggleye-Woo!
The last stanza tripped me a little, but once I realized he knitted the knig for himself, I found it refreshingly clever and thought it sad to know there's little else to do in Kalloo, especially if you can even pummel the pouch of a Punchy-Palloo!
Not sure if you meant to use Knig in the title or King, but no bother, it carries either way.
Fully delightful and refreshing. Thank you!

Thomas

Geezer

2 years 6 months ago

My niece and nephews...

would have rolled on the floor listening to this one! Absolutely hilarious! Nice to see a new member writing like this. Seems like you are comfortable enough to write stuff like this right off, which makes you a good fit for Neo. Welcome to Neo. Hope to see more of what you've got soon. ~ Geezer.
.

Obadiah Grey

2 years 6 months ago

Could almost hear Spike,

Could almost hear Spike, Secombe, Bentine, and Sellers, in the background.

Ying tong iddle I po, Gary !!

I like this, because sometimes we need to abandon ego, just write for fun and see where it takes us.

Obi.

Lavender

2 years 6 months ago

The Knig of Kalloo

Hello, Gary,
I see from your profile you are trying to give something back to the life of music and poetry - this gave me a happy feeling, and an uncontrolled smile.
Thank you!
Lavender