Dalton

May 22, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Last Aisling

If she meets me on the dawn
The way between ways
I'll know her by her ancient name

The black in her eye
The glass of her hair
The blossom of her lifting breasts
Beneath her glittering mantle
The gaze which is human
But not quite

And what have you done
With the gift God has planted in you
Have you squandered it on
The wounds of love
Or have you raised an eye to me

Or for my sister plagued in derision
A single soil divided
A way between ways
Have you cared only
For your loving deceits
Or do you speak my name
Without fear

Of dying?

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: The Celestial River

Favorite Poets: Shane MacGowan, Dylan Thomas, Qays ibn Al-Mulawwah, Wallada bint al-Mustakfi, Rumi, Khalil Gibran, Yona Wallach, Arthur Rimbaud, Paul Eluard, Brendan Behan, James Clarence Mangan, William Blake, Tom Waits, Charles Bukowski, Forough Farrokhzad, Thomas Chatterton

Comments

neopoet

1 month ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

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Lavender

1 month ago

Last Aisling

Hello, John,
Another mystical and mythical poem. I'd love some help understanding its depth, as I'm sure it has underlying secrets and meaning.
Thank you!
L

Dalton

1 month ago

I did explain the historical

I did explain the historical significance for the Aisling poem in a return comment with the last poem "First Aisling" I'd be happy to elaborate as best I can over next day or two. Be well desr Lavender love John x

Dalton

1 month ago

Dear Lavender

In the 18th century it was illegal to reference the name of Ireland directly in poetry hence the trend of Aisling/dream coded poetry. The plagued sister soil divided refers to the separation of the six counties of the north established in 1921 may 3rd. It has politico-historical refs but I've tried to instil the necessary dreamy qualities too my natural inclination. All I care about is love

John

Lavender

1 month ago

Thank you, John!

This is poetically beautiful, and more so with your explanation. Hard to keep the political consequences out of history - but your inclination for love and the visionary references are clearly felt.
Thank you!
L

Dalton

1 month ago

Thanks Lavender

Thanks its an old one and I love the trend in 18th century poetry a time period I have a feel for xxx

Dalton

1 month ago

Hi Lavender

Maybe you could write a romantic Aisling now you know the formula

Lavender

1 month ago

HI, John,

I'll study a bit more and maybe give it a whirl!
:)

Dalton

1 month ago

Hi Lavender

You could take the basic formula and apply it to your own country or romantic imagination

Dalton

3 weeks 6 days ago

Hi Lavender

AI response was flummoxed by this I've achieved something at last!!! Lol

Lavender

3 weeks 2 days ago

Hello,John,

I've peeked in, but unable to spend much time online as of late. If I understand correctly, the female in the poem is actually representing Ireland? Still studying this intriguing genre, and the mystery of Ireland herself!
Thank you!
L

Dalton

3 weeks 2 days ago

Hi Lavender

You have it entirely though the love element should also exist somewhere at the back I would have liked to imbue but I didn't