scribbler

Aug 27, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

LAST VISIT

I've come to see an old, old friend
who hasn't much time left
he should be gone by summer's end
when he shall leave us all bereft

You see this friend is a small dam
fit on a mid sized stream
so now I stand right where I am
to recall, perhaps to dream

My father's father was a lad
when first this stream was tamed
outcome of a vision someone had
what, I wonder, was he named?

Stream's flow drove a textile mill
abandoned now for years
the old folks talk about it still
its shuttles, looms and gears

This old friend is really beautiful
as it's built of solid stone
its life both long and dutiful
standing strong and all alone

What would the long gone masons think
of the destruction of their work
their expertise with stone and chink
unwillingness to ever shirk

At least three generation's feet
have left prints in this sand
perhaps a few lovers, discrete
held loving hands and planned

What will it look like when he's gone
from this steep stoney cleft?
when masons' work has been undone
will any trace be left?

With my cell phone I take some snaps
not from just a single place
so those who come later, perhaps
will appreciate its grace

So now I stand in the cool mist
from old friend's overflow
he'll soon be gone and sadly missed
I sigh...then turn...then go

About This Poem

Last Few Words: This is an old one from the old site which I finally got around to reposting to new site..................stan

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Roscoe Lane

11 years 10 months ago

And glad,

And i'm glad you did, another from an artist who paints with words. Every time i read your work i get to walk with you, as i feel that i see what you describe so clearly. Enough said. Regards Roscoe..

scribbler

11 years 10 months ago

Hey Roscoe

Always glad to have others share my "treks". I guess I need to go through my early paper copy poetry and gradually get stuff which was erased from old site and transfer it to here. Thanks for visiting.............stan

Rula

11 years 10 months ago

Hello Stan

I'd say this is a very impressive writing. I can relate as I went through such an experience when my father decided to re-new building the family house. It was inevitable, It was OK I think, but sad that certain memories (good or bad) couldn't be re-newed with the new building.
Two tiny suggestions:
I thought the repitition of "so" spoiled a bit the reading in the last two stanzas
and I thought the title would read better with a definite / indefinite article.

scribbler

11 years 10 months ago

Hi Sandy

Thought I'd say sandy since you're from the desert lands lol. Don't worry, just a one time attempt at humor.
Yeah, the only constant in this world is change and it's not always for the better is it?
I'll look into that repetition and see what I can do about it when I edit. Thanks for dropping by my tent.............stan

mand

11 years 10 months ago

Hi Stan

I agree with the two above comments - in away you are writing a poetic diary - which I'm sure future generations will enjoy to learn and read from. How things change, not always for the better. It cuts to the heart when old friends go, but at least there will be a lasting memory with your beautiful poem.

Thanks for sharing your passion and skill.

Love Mand

scribbler

11 years 10 months ago

Hi Mandy

Yes and not all friends are people are they? And I guess writing poetry Is a bit like writing a diary ain't it? This poem is the first in a series of 3 which dealt with the fate of this old dam. I'm glad you enjoyed it...........stan

Esker

11 years 10 months ago

used to help masons build things

built concrete too..helped anyway..
i used to love walking in the woods to see the structures
still standing after their purpose was bereft of care..
like the ruins of cathedrals in europe
etc...or the small purposeful and well crafted
mill races and bridges....

nature reclaims herself....

and lets discoveries be made
for adventurers all...!

Thank You!

scribbler

11 years 10 months ago

Hi

This particular old dam was built to suppy power to an old mill and mill town in the late 1800s. The mill hs been shut down for decades now and the dam was just a glorified waterfall for years. Then when the gov't started giving tax breaks for doing so, a company bought and refurbished the dam and old generating house which hummed along for about a decade. Finally it was decided that due to the PCB contaminated silt behind the dam that the dam as well as a smaller concrete dam upstream would be dredged and dismantled.....such is the price of earlier environmental transgressions. Dams are now gone and one can hardly tell they were ever there. the river now has reclaimed the look of a mountain river but I still miss watching the mists and rainbows formed by water going over the spillway.............stan PS I've also done a bit of stome and block masonry in my time so along with you I enjoy spotting old masonry work in remote places

loved

11 years 10 months ago

now i feel

scared to comment
Stan forgive me
I don't want to earn your wrath again
dam damn
it I will

scribbler

11 years 10 months ago

What??

Since when have you ever earned my "wrath" ? The few times I allow the monster out there is nothing subtle about its actions lol. So comment away, you have nothing to fear from this old key tapper..............stan

loved

11 years 10 months ago

i already did

dam the damn
or damn the dam...

i ain't afraid of my spouse e'en
and i have my spouses permission to say
this to everyone
hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

scribbler

11 years 10 months ago

So.....

If I don't like your opinions I should take it up with your spouse? lmao......now that's a pretty good dodge.........stan

loved

11 years 10 months ago

hahahhhaaaa

aaaaahhahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

scribbler

11 years 10 months ago

PS

Susan told me I could call it a dodge

loved

11 years 10 months ago

susan who

who susan
which one 100 i know

Ian.T

11 years 10 months ago

Stan

It's my picky, picky day lol I loved this piece it gave your usual picture but more where memory storage and photo's would be used to keep our heritage even in an album..
Just a couple of tiny, tiny things:-

Yousee this friend is a small dam.. (Just a bit of space needed)
fit on a mid sized stream..( the first word needs to be fixed or fitted)
See I am being picky, Have a great day out there and look forward to you next walkabout,
Yours Ian.T