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Jan 03, 2025
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For Lavender
The scent of lavender,
Relieves my hayfever,
With a smell,
That lifts me up,
Making me feel ,
Calm.
The smell is gentle,
Subtle,
And remains in the air,
Before it enters,
My nostrils.
The other Lavender,
In my life,
Is on Neopoet.
This voice which,
Encourages,
And boosts me.
I love Lavender!
The relaxing,
Calming,
Purple,
Is a dignified,
And attractive colour,
A favourite,
For the bees,
Seeking out pollen.
Just like the bees,
I have attracted,
Lavender,
On Neopoet,
With my poem "Pain".
The kind remarks,
Have given me,
A feeling of warmth,
Deep inside me.
My gratitude to Lavender!
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Hi there Lavender. This one's for you in response to your very thoughtful and kind comments on my poem "Pain". I have written much happier ones since then, so they won't all be like this one. You made me feel so good with what you said to me. I responded in the only way I could for someone who really got it - in a poem. Feel free to say whatever you want. It's still a poem.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 1 week ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem effectively uses the metaphor of lavender, both as a physical entity and a person on Neopoet, to express a sense of calm, attraction, and gratitude. The use of simple, direct language and the repetition of the word "lavender" helps to reinforce this metaphor throughout the poem.
However, the poem could benefit from a more varied and complex vocabulary. For instance, the phrases "The smell is gentle" and "The relaxing, calming, purple" could be more descriptive and evocative. Instead of simply stating that the smell is gentle, the poet could describe what makes it so, or compare it to something else that is gentle. Similarly, the description of lavender as "relaxing, calming, purple" could be expanded upon to give a more vivid impression of the color and its effects.
Additionally, the structure of the poem is somewhat disjointed, with short, fragmented sentences that can disrupt the flow of the poem. The poet might consider restructuring some of these sentences to create a more fluid and rhythmic reading experience.
Lastly, the transition between the description of lavender as a scent and lavender as a person on Neopoet is somewhat abrupt. The poet could consider adding a transitional phrase or sentence to make this shift more clear and smooth for the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
kowque
6 months 1 week ago
The other Lavender
This piece is so touching. I wonder if you are referring to the epic Lavender who always leaves a mark on all our work. I hope so :)
I'm not a fan of the scent,but, I love the rich colour itself. I thought poem gave me a different perspective on how I experience Lavender. Well done!
I'm going to read it again a few times more ;)
The Gogetter
6 months 1 week ago
Reference to the epic Lavender
Yes indeed Koki. I am referring to the one and only Lavender, who touched me very deeply with his encouragement about the poem "Pain", I wrote. However, due to my allergies, I adore the scent of the Lavender flower and even Lavender spray. It totally relaxes me and eases any effects that the hay fever has on me. I wanted to write something just to acknowledge his support. This is why I wrote the poem. Happy that you found a different perspective on this wonderful subject. Always value a response.
Lavender
6 months 1 week ago
Hello, Gogetter,
I am very moved and grateful for your lovely poem. It's given this new, very cold day a bright, warm start. Like others on this wonderful site, I love to read, write, and share poetry, and your poem "Pain" is striking and relatable. I feel its sincerity and hope. I think we all love to support one another's poetry as we grow and learn more each day.
Again, thank you for such kind sentiments. I'm very touched.
Lavender
The Gogetter
6 months 1 week ago
I wanted one for you Lavender
You supported me in my poem "Pain" and I wanted to give one for you as a gift, Lavender. This is all that it was for me, but your name did inspire me, because I love the colour lavender and the Lavender flower. There are other poets in this community who appreciate your support. I am not the only one. Everyone needs some backing at one time or another.
Rula
6 months 1 week ago
Hello Gogetter
This is absolutely a nice dedication to our lovely sweet Lavender. A special Lady and poetess who keeps sending her aroma around the site with her words.
A very nice gesture from your side.
Thank you for sharing!