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Dennis Go

Jan 26, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Lazy Fingers

Lazy fingers
And an idle mind
To write off my worries
All in metered rhyme.

About what?
I know not still.
Just letting thoughts flow
At my heart's own will

On pain and joy,
Suffering and strife,
Laughter and sorrow,
Death and life,

Slaves and masters,
Rich and poor,
Winning and losing,
Old age and youth,

Angels and devils,
Heaven and hell,
The good and the bad,
Stories to tell.

In all these cases
I strive real hard
To showcase my views
And utter my charm.

Lazy fingers
And my hot, weary head
Write of my worries
Shown in verses unsaid.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Manila, PHL

Favorite Poets: R.S. Thomas, William Blake, Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas

More from this author

Comments

14 years 5 months ago

Dear JayCee

I've considered that word quite a few times but it seems the rhyming is still off.

"Lore" sounds like "four" rather than "poor". The only thing close to poor I can think of is "sure", hence I think I'll stick with youth for the time being. :)

Thank you very much for your valuable suggestion :)

R

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Dennis...

the state of mind of poet searching for inspiration is brought out well in this write...

you may want to correct a spello

Write of (off) my worries

warmly..

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Raj

In the first verse, I wrote:

To write off my worries
All in metered rhyme
---- meaning: to remove my worries through writing.

In the last stanza, I wrote:

Write of my worries
Shown in verses unsaid.
---- meaning: to write about my worries.

Thank you very much for your suggestion. They're both deliberately spelled that way.

R

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Dennis...

i stand corrected...what you have said is spot on....

warmly...

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks

Thanks again Raj :)

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks Xena :)

Glad you liked this one.

This is way different from what I've been writing so I'm not really comfortable with rhyming styles like this. :)

K

14 years 5 months ago

Oh, yes. It is way different

Oh, yes. It is way different and well done. I don't think I have the discipline though I have often unintentionally schemed...I mean rhymed. ;-)

For your consideration (and of(f) the beaten path): old age ends youth.

~A

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks Anna. :)

I'm emphasizing writing about old age, and writing about youth.

"Old age ends youth" would give it a whole new different meaning.

Thanks again for your valuable suggestion. :)

K

14 years 5 months ago

I know dear, noticed all the

I know dear, noticed all the sides, parallels and opposites of your poem.

Just having some fun, Dennis, you know how I am. ;-)

~A

14 years 5 months ago

Hehe Thanks again Anna :)

Hehe Thanks again Anna :)

14 years 5 months ago

Actually Shirl the 6th stanza

Actually Shirl the 6th stanza:

In all these cases
I strive real hard
To showcase my views
And utter my charm.

hard and charm doesn't rhyme either hehe

I'll just leave it at youth coz forcing it to rhyme shall ruin the whole meaning :)

Thanks again Shirl :)