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May 05, 2019
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To learn me
My life so lonely my eyes just wanna close
Only myself to blame for these paths I chose
Never ask for anything never heard me complain
I walked through the fires I still feel the pain
I except you Lord in Jesus name
New life already beginning to unfold
The past is gonna just be a story never told
New start without even a single dime
Nobody can put shade over my new shine
Realizing now life is just training course for what's to come
Time I stop hurting myself and smile stop being so numb
My worst enemy was only just me now I see
Forgive all for everything including me now Im finally alive an free
What a battle to simply learn me
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
6 years 1 month ago
I like the rhyme...
It's [accept] not except. Watch your tenses, when you say "I chose", you have to speak in the past tense,; which makes the word you describe as being in the past. [These, is present tense]. Your rhythm is kind of ragged at the end, but you can fix that up with a little attention. All In all, a good poem. I hope that you keep working with it. ~ Geezer.
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