Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Lenore Re-visited
Lenore Re-visited
( with apologies to E. A. Poe )
Orchid petal silkiness annihilates my mood
and I am but a beast within a cage
cooling fingers touch me with the tenderness of prayer
leaving me to deal with fading rage
gentle whispers from a voice as pure as thistle down
empty me of misery and pain
only to refill my ear with serenade of song
that echos through my soul in soft refrain
patterns of persuasiveness now blanket me with love
I am no longer capable of spite
my heartbeat slows, my fever fades, and all without regret
she leads me into shades of soothing night
caresses that would tempt the gods deliver hints of more
as we lie entwined on mossy earth
there is nothing in this world or any worlds to come
that could ever dissipate her worth
come the morning she may leave, but I will not forget
the magic and the peacefulness she gave
memories of such a bliss will never fade away
and I will love her still within the grave
C. Lon R. Bruso
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
William Saint George
11 years 6 months ago
Hi Lonnie
I don't see how the apology to Poe has anything to do with this poem - besides the title, maybe. But I enjoyed reading it. The last stanza really did it for me.
"only to refill my ear with serenade of song" I'm not sure about the grammar here,
"only to refill my ear with a serenade" is how I would've put it.
It's a beautiful poem
.
Lonnie
11 years 6 months ago
Thank you sir!
I always take good suggestions under serious consideration and will do so with yours! Thanks for reading this and leaving feedback!
Ian.T
11 years 6 months ago
Lonnie
A lovely piece showing the deep feelings of love for another.
Hope all your days are filled with this love,
Yours Ian.T
Lonnie
11 years 6 months ago
Thanks Ian
Just a little tribute poem to the style of a greater poet than I ever will be! I appreciate you taking the time to read this and leave me nice words!
Roscoe Lane
11 years 6 months ago
Lenore,
Lenore re-visited and bettered, great work Lonnie. Regards Roscoe..
Lonnie
11 years 6 months ago
Thanks, Roscoe
Always a pleasure to hear from you and get your opinion on a poem!
mand
11 years 6 months ago
Hi Lonnie
This is just lovely! There are so many descriptive phrases here that really do make the poem shine:-
I think Mr E. A. Poe would be delighted - your poem surly equal's his own.
Fantastic!
Love Mand xxxxxx
Lonnie
11 years 6 months ago
Thank you, Mand
Your feedback is always welcome and much appreciated, as is your kind acceptance of my humble work!
Seren
11 years 6 months ago
Dear Lonnie
This is a beautiful piece right from the very first stanza you create an atmosphere of gentleness of mind, its the only word I can think of to describe it, there are so many gorgeous lines I really cant pick a favourite, it made me smile while I was reading it for me that's indicative of a great poem
as always a pleasure to read your words you really are a wonderful poet
love to you both Jayne-Chloe xxx
Lonnie
11 years 6 months ago
Thank you very much Jayne,
Those are kind and generous words indeed, and they are deeply appreciated! I hope all is going well in your life, and that the weather there is better than here right now! LOL!!
Seren
11 years 6 months ago
Not kind at all I honestly
Not kind at all I honestly have always loved your poetry :) and this is a truly beautiful poem
my life ? I wont bore you with the details its chaos, its really hot here at the moment today was a scorcher
hugs JC x