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Aug 05, 2024
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Leonard Cohen
Leonard Cohen once said that there is a crack in everything; and that’s how the light gets in.
I’m not one to argue with a wise man,
but you my love must be the exception.
I think you are made of glass,
by the way your light shines straight through you
without a crack in sight.
You are the stained glass of a cathedral.
You are the kitchen window my cat loves to lounge about in front of,
basking in the patch of sunlight.
I stand in front of you and feel your light beaming down at me,
and it is the closest I have come to church.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
10 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Candlewitch
10 months 3 weeks ago
Hello MM,
I see you have stumped AI, LOL! I am all in favor of that maneuver! I have few suggestions of which you can either use or discard:
Leonard Cohen once said remove the word (that)
there is a crack in everything;
(remove the word (and )that’s how the light gets in.
I’m not one to argue with a wise man,
but you my love must be the exception.
I think you are made of glass,
by the way your light shines straight through you
without a crack in sight.
You are the stained glass of a cathedral.
You are the kitchen window
my cat loves to lounge about in front of,
basking in the patch of sunlight.
I stand in front of you (remove (and) feel your light beaming down at me,
remove the word(and) it is the closest I have come to church.
the ands and that is superfluous or unnecessary. I love the last line, it is Killer ;)
*hugs, Cat
Lavender
10 months 2 weeks ago
Leonard Cohen
Hello, MM,
This is elegant in a straightforward manner. I enjoy the opposite observations in the first and last lines - one referring to light getting in, the last referring to light getting out. Clever! I am not quite certain of the title. While I like his quote as the opening line, I was thinking there may be more references to Leonard Cohen and his works. I'm not familiar with as much of his work, though. Maybe there is throughout the poem?
Thank you!
L