Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Life

I came from nowhere

In my dream

Or should I say,

Nightmare; but things

Are a lot smoother.



The pit I have dug in

Came forth with flowers

When I woke up.



Life's but a shallow grave

In the tomb of reality.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: Manila, PHL

Favorite Poets: R.S. Thomas, William Blake, Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas

More from this author

Comments

Dennis Go

Dennis Go

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks Jayne

I just heard that neopoet is up and I really do must be with you guys again. :)

I prefer the "When I woke up" thing. The "then" would change the entire scenario.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Eduardo Cruz

Eduardo Cruz

14 years 5 months ago

Dennis

I love the reference to life is a tomb, because we all live encased in our own thoughts. there is a great loneliness to that situetion which we live everyday.
this is an excellent poem. the shallowness of life truly feels like it is easy to dig and find the reality. So the flowers is a great metaphor that shows its beauty
great job!!
Eddie C.

K

Kailashana2

14 years 5 months ago

hi Dennis, I was pleased to

hi Dennis, I was pleased to see your name, welcome back!

For me, it would work better if you personalized the end line.

My life a shallow grave
in the tomb, I find reality.

~

Dennis Go

Dennis Go

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks Kailashana

Nice to see you again.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I like the end lines as it is. :)