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Life is suffering!
What we do in the day
is seen by the light.
Our sweet indiscretions
committed at night!
You never know
what He might do or say,
but we'll all find out
in the course of time.
Your heart is pounding
your hands are shaking.
Beads of sweat form
upon your brow.
The enemy comes round
just to shake you.
When morning comes
darkness will vaporize.
You'll move along
to overcome your seeming blight.
It's in yor mind
to make things right!
You have few friends
to take your side.
In a month or two
you might be on the street!
.
There are places there
who'll take you in.
You'll sit and wait
for some respite.
You're fortunate
to have the chance .
To stand and gaze
into His forgiving eyes!
You won't see hell
no not tonight,
but suffering is
a part of life!
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Leslie
6 months 2 weeks ago
Life is suffering!
You need to find ways just to cope. In the end you'l greet the light!
kowque
6 months ago
I wanted you
To expand the theme
Of ongoing struggle-
Nights are long.
I loved that this was so evocative I wanted more.
You are such a great story teller.
Thank you friend
Leslie
5 months 3 weeks ago
Life is sufferring?
Thank you for commenting, you always leave a pleasant remark! I hope you are well and have a great day!
Leslie
5 months 3 weeks ago
Life is sufferring?
Thank you for commenting, you always leave a pleasant remark! I hope you are well and have a great day!