alidzain

Apr 26, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Life's Cycle

Listen to the sound of rustling leaves,
the voice of the silent trees,
greeting Man and beasts
in each passing breeze.

At times a nudge of the wind
sheds a few leaves to earth,
scattering them with its whimsical flow
without decreasing their worth..

They will become one with the land,
nourishing it further through time
so that the life cycle will not end
the sacrifice continues for a new lifetime

Such is the way of Mother Nature
since the beginning of time...

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

alidzain

11 years 2 months ago

Hi

Not sure if the title is fitting. Anyone has a better idea?

Alid

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

Alid

A short trip as the breeze touching the trees and all things around, though I think that the breeze is your thoughts, a type of freedom felt and seen with having to move, good write,
Yours Ian.T

alidzain

11 years 2 months ago

Thanks, Ian

for the visit and the comment. The idea for this piece came to me when I was sending some time alone in the park.;)

Alid

Eduardo Cruz

11 years 2 months ago

Alid

You have captured the natural progression of life in nature, nature is always purposeful nothing is wasted, but at the same time you have looked into man's life and death plight. "from dust you came and to dust you will return"
so even we have a place in natures scheme. To me the best name for this is "Life's Cycle" which you have already in the third stanza, this title encompasses both man and nature.

They will become one with the land,
nourishing it further through time
so that the life cycle will not end
with their final sacrifice...- I think maybe this- "the sacrifice continues for a new lifetime."
It just keeps the rhythm with the rest of the poem.

Just my opinion and perception.
Eddie
PS. I do like this poem a lot it is well written and I can see that time to contemplate was taken, Bravo!

alidzain

11 years 2 months ago

Hi Eddie

I agree that nature is a good source of inspiration in a poem. Its just that there are times when I don't really now how to put it into words. Fortunately that's not the case for this one. Glad you enjoy it .

Alid

emeka ozurumba

11 years 2 months ago

alid in everything i have

alid in everything i have seen in you i have seen your true love for nature, it will not go unremembered, the themes just strike me, you must spend so much time studying nature, and i think you are an awesome poet

alidzain

11 years 2 months ago

thank you for the kind comments, Emeka

but i don't think i spend enough time when it comes to studying nature. Most of the time the ideas for my nature-themed poems came at the spur of the moment which I managed to frame into words.

Alid