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Sep 07, 2011
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Lights - splash pool poem posted on behalf of Geezer
Multi-colored streaking lights, wash across my windshield's night
Wiper shadows swishing past, keeping pace with raindrops fast
The motor purrs, and tires shussssh, through icy puddles... slush
Gosh, I guess that Autumn's come, a little cooler, dwindling sun
Geese in their high flying vees, and bright colors in the trees
Squirrels frantic in their gathering, different birds begin to sing
I see the signs of Summer's end, I feel that I have lost a friend
Oh well, it's time to go, the shitty weather tells me so
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
13 years 9 months ago
Hi Geeze
Have you tried this in rhyming couplets of 4 line stanzas?............stan
Geezer
13 years 9 months ago
Yeah...
and it's still wishy-washy. LOL ~ Gee
Geezer
13 years 9 months ago
You are right...
It is kinda wishey-washy. I think I'll work on it. ~ Gee
lou
13 years 9 months ago
Gee
I thought this poem was part of the splash pool workshop ?
Lou
scribbler
13 years 9 months ago
hi Geez
Don't post your rewrite until other shop members give their alternative rewrites. You might get some good ideas from them, that's what this shop is for............stan
Geezer
13 years 9 months ago
Yes Lou...
it is. I just forgot to post it correctly. I'm sorry.
Let me know when to post the re-write. ~ Gee