Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

B

Little Dieties

Snow began to fall in sheets,
thick snow, flying furiously.
Blown in by a whirlwind,
a roiling ocean of snow,
swarming snowflakes
hurried along by the bountiful breeze
flying like ashes
from a pyre released.

As long shadows slithered
slowly up the snow,
the gray shifting shrouds
assumed a solid shape.

Gliding across the snow
with graceful dancer's steps,
little deities disgorged
like cargo from confectionary ships.

Thrashing about in
snow sprinkled shrubs,
their tiny steps crunching
in snow frozen sand
and snow-covered paths
pocked by prowling wolf paws
who's pale, predator eyes,
snow pearls in moonlight,
wait patiently in a pack,

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

More from this author

Comments

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

3 years 1 month ago

Awesome

I really love it all. I really like the title. The whole thing has a language of mystique about it.

Excellent,
Tim

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 1 month ago

A real...

kaleidoscope of words and ess-sounds to keep the ear listening! I am impressed at the coherence conveyed. The title word is a typo. [Little Deities] ~ Geezer.
.

B

Bmoxie

3 years ago

Little Deities

It is a pleasure to read the insightful comments from the readers. Please pardon my typo. I should be more careful.